Anyway, I'd just blog whatever I wrote on my diary alright? Sure, I'll edit a bit here and there.. Some stuffs are too private, even for you.

That's weird. It looks like I'm blogging for the readers and not myself? Blah. Anyway,

9th july 2012

Hi, this is winson, and this, this is my 12th diary.

I was late (about time I have this) for booking-in today and the instructors say they're going to make me book out later than others?! (which I didn't) FYI, I'm already booking out at 10pm on saturday, how long can they keep me in their little cage for? 

People here are still the same as before. FIs still bitchy, and squadmates still being childish. Sometimes I think I could get used to this. Who am I kidding lol.

(Cyrus approaches me then and as me about my crush) So am I just gonna forget about her and give up? Since every time I tried to talk to her she seems so annoyed by me. (Stupid questions, expect a dumber reply. Lol) 

10th july 2012

I'm starting to wonder if it is really because of what I am that's why I'm so afraid to be with her. Fadzly got a girl right in the middle of this stupid training period, where we have our head shaved and isn't really on the mood or having the time to "go out and chill".

But somehow my argument still stands. He's humorous, sociable, good-looking in a way, knows how to play guitar and have total control of his life while I'm boring, socially awkward, ugly, fat, selfish. insensitive and my life is kind of in a wreck right now. So who the hell am I to compare my situation with him?

Maybe I AM right. Or maybe I just don't have the confidence. But what's the point. I'm on the verge of giving up anyway.

Oh yes and once upon a time there's this girl who love me for who I am, accepted my faults and took all the bullshits. And I never had the chance to appreciate her by my side. Guess you have to lose in order to know what you really have. Or had, in my case.

This week started off bad. First, I'm late for booking in. Then, I'm still not marching and probably not ever. Third, I became a safety marshall for my PSOC test and bitten by ants, standing in the rain.

I have a feeling this streak of bad luck might continue throughout the week (and I'm right).

11th july 2012

Never knew NS life could be so "interesting". Everyday there'll be a messed up event you just want to pen down on. And apparently I'm too quick to forgive and forget. No wonder every week, my blog posts are summarised down to what can only be described as a "fucked up" week. But hey. I'm not going to use vulgarities anymore I swear. Cos I feel like I can't stop swearing. And to me it's seriously not cool swearing in front of amerlin or jialing or anyone else that's not a guy. 

Last night, they started giving out tickets for the NE show. NE show! Even though we are performing for the NATION, seems like it isn't honorable enough to get the tickets for the ACTUAL NDP. Fine. I can take this. But wait. You gotta hear this. I got not three. Not two. BUT ONE TICKET FOR THE NE SHOW. This is stupid man. Who am I suppose to ask to come now? I wonder if my mother is willing to come alone. And the girl I like isn't really a fan of being in solitude. This is it. I just wasted barrels of my time.

And I really hate how people ignore me when I'm asking them a question. And looks like everyone is doing that to me too. Cyrus, Jia ling etc. I wonder if it's human nature or something.

Sorry I got off track. And Friday they are allowing a walk out (finally) for three hours (idiot).

Sorry no time to finish up on friday. But friday is the worst day of my life. Friday the 13th.

Oh and just for your info. I watched the amazing spiderman last week with jia ling. Now I wanna watch batman. But no one wanna pei.

And and and urm.

Demon slayer is cool.

Okay bye guys!

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